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Moved
12.08.05 (1:55 pm)   [edit]

I have moved my blog/homepage to


http://360.yahoo.com/pinkmiller83


here i can put pictures and other things. if you still want to read whats up with me then stop on by. if not its been fun, but time to move on.



 
Sunday
11.27.05 (7:16 am)   [edit]

i have gotten my internet back for my house which saves me gas driving to the Library. Been really bored lately.


Thanksgiving went great and I made an awesome turkey. School is so hard and I'm just try to stay focus but thats hard because I have other things I want to focus on.


I guess not much to say today. enjoy the rest of your weekend.



 
update
11.23.05 (2:30 pm)   [edit]

well, well, well. Long time no see huh? Well the trip went great and was very relaxing. Apon returning home I found out I am expecting number three! Very shocked, but also very thrilled. I am now 18 weeks pregnant and will be finding out Dec 5th if its a boy or girl. Intuition tells me its a boy.


On a different note, for those you know me personally, my divorce will be final at the end of January. This was the best decision for all and glad we came to an agrement.


Can't believe tomorrow is Thanksgiving! Christmas is right around the corner. On early post I had said my goals was to lose weight before December. I am proud to say I reached my goal fast than I thought. I went from 150 to 130 in about 4 months. Now being preggy and all kind of goes out the window, but I know after this beautiful child is born I will have no doubt I can lose the weight again.


Happy Thanksgiving to all and Happy Holidays!!



 
Where has time gone
08.28.05 (8:23 am)   [edit]
Wow I can't believe how much time has passed since I wrote. I know not a lot of people read my blog, but I still like the fact that people can be involved in my issues, but not physically there. i know its weird. I posted myself on Hot or Not and was pretty suprised on my rating! I attached my score which is updated all the time so if you want to rate me just click the link. i am flying home on Wednesday to see family and to have some alone time. I haven't flown on a plane since i was13! I am a little nervous. My hubby is watching the girls for two weeks which will be the longest I've ever been without my girls. I'm going to miss them so much. I'm learning how to play the piano and I love it. Thats one of my goals for the next few years. School is awesome but I am falling behind a little. I'll get the hang of it. I bought a new MP3 player and its awesome. Hope all is well with everyone else. Have a wonderful day.

 
Explain This To Me
08.08.05 (7:54 am)   [edit]
Ok...why is it that you meet someone who blows your mind, you connect on ever level and you start to make plans to be together. you spend a lot of time together and then all of a sudden that person changes. You love them so much and then they leave. you know you shouldn't think about them anymore because you feel its a waste of time, but you can't stop thinking about him. I can't get him out of my mind and my heart is breaking. This is the most aweful feeling I have ever had! All i want to do is sleep and not think about anything. I have all this stuff that just keeps building up and I can fix it. He comes back in a month and I have to pick him up from the airport and I don't know where my heart is going to be. I only want to be with him and I want him to feel the same. I don't think I have ever wanted something so much in my whole life! Now what I want explained is why am I so head over heels for him when there's a chance he doesn't want me anymore?

 
A Little Something
06.23.05 (7:00 am)   [edit]

I cry out yet you won't let any one hear, I look but you won't let me see, I give my all yet it's not enough. To you I am an angel, but you have cut my wings. I try to live for you, but you only want death. I am a butterfly you have put in a jar with no holes, starving for air and the warmth of the sun. Yet comes my saving grace who fixes my wings and opens the jar. He lets me fly to places I've never been and tells me of great things. I feel free and loved, strong and beautiful. To experiance something great when you only come to crush that little sunshine from my eyes. You call me a small child and need to be punished when you don't see I am a woman who needs something greater than words. My saving grace is always with me and I remember the words he says to get me through the day. Through the storm I saw that ray of beautiful light and even though the clouds rolled over it in a second, the warmth lives on through my soul forever. Thank you my saving grace.



 
Life Experiances
06.22.05 (6:31 pm)   [edit]
There are many things in life I do regret and yet there are things that I don't. Life is so hard when you are torn between two things. My life hasn't been picture perfect and I'm not sure anyone's is or will be. I try to live life to the fullest and if I'm going to do something do it with all my heart which in some cases get you in trouble. I try to be a nice, compassionate, open-minded, and willing to give my left arm for anyone who asked. A lot of the time it goes well and everything is fine, but then there are times when I get too involoved and find myslef hurt. If you are in a situation where you have to make a huge decision between to things in you life that are important to you, listen to what your heart says and what you feel is the best for YOU and no one else. You can't go through life thinking, "what if", life will be miserable.

 
New Goal
06.01.05 (8:14 am)   [edit]

Today is June 1,2005, my goal is to lose 25 lbs. or more by December 1,2005. I'm doing this the healthy way by watching what I eat and excersising. I'm going to keep a daily chart of what I eat and what I did for excersise and a weekly chart on my weight.


Since starting school I have realized that I can do anything I'm just lazy or I find excuses. i am writing a paper right now which I have to give three personal, educational, and professional goals. Weight lose is one of them. I'm not putting my self on a crazy diet or only eating cottage cheese for two weeks. Portion size and too much surgar is what I'm really going to watch.


If anyone has any tips they would like to share feel free. I love suggestions. I hope everyone had a great Memorail Holiday.



 
Wednesday
05.25.05 (9:32 am)   [edit]

For anyone one reads my blog, sorry I've been gone for awhile. My mom was in a pretty bad car accident and was in the hospital for a week. She's now home with my grandparents and healing. Keep her in your thoughts. School is going good. I'm getting the hang of it. I turned in my first paper the other day, but I don't know how I did since I wrote it in a new format. I had a pregnancy scare a few days ago, but all is well. The weather has finally stopped raining and has been the most beautiful weather this year. I just hope it gets better.


I think I'll post a question today to see you reads my blog or if I'm just writing to myself. I don't mind writing to myself, I'm just curious to see who reads this. So the question of the days is...drum roll please..........


What is the one thing that you absolutly what to do before you die?


Have fun everyone. Enjoy your day and don't let anything pass you by. ;)



 
Money Trouble
05.13.05 (8:47 am)   [edit]

I hate bills! True we put ourselves in the position we're in because of credit cards, but its still frustrating. I can't get a job to help because we don't have money for daycare. At least I'm going to school to fix that. I wish we were better wiht money.


Anyway, school is going great. I'm really into except having to write papers in APA format. Its a little confussing, but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it. Today is such a nice day. Its suppose to be at least 70 and sunny. I'm so excited.


Well, I need to clean house so I can break the news to Tom that we have no money. Wish me luck:)



 
First Day of School
05.10.05 (10:33 pm)   [edit]
I started school today and it seems ok after I get all my stuff in one place. The current course is about Adult learning and continue education. So far I've been a leader and feel good about it. Tom was given a full blooded blue healer and she's very smart and pretty. Its going to be his fishing dog. I think shelby is coming down with a cold. her eyes are all watery and her nose is stuffy. Well, I got a chapter to read so i'll post again later. Good Night

 
School
04.28.05 (9:06 am)   [edit]

I'm in!!! Except not at Tacoma Community College. I can't afford daycare, so I'm going to University of Phoenix online and getting my Bacholers in Health Administration and doing my prereqs online for my RN which will cut my school in half and also save up money to put the girls in day care while I get my RN or I'll just get a job after my bacholers and wait until my kids go to school so I don't have to pay for daycare. I'm real excited about school. My first class is May 10th and each class is five weeks long, then you take off a week and then start a new class. I'm going to try and CLEP out of English 101. We'll see.


I am so excited summer is almost here. I've got to go to the bank so I'll post more later.



 
Monday
04.11.05 (9:15 am)   [edit]

Well, I haven't heard anymore about school or finacial aid yet, but I will be patient. i'm taking my placement test on Friday and I've been studying all weekend. Mostly math and I've remembered a lot of stuff in just a few days. Now I think I need to focus on the English. I hate sentence correcting, but you doesn't.


This weekend was real boring since Tom had staff duty. I did watch Spanglish and it is sooo funny. Today is Shelby's first dance class and she's so excited. I hope she does good and doesn't act shy. This is the first time I'm leaving one of my kids alone in a class. They haven't even been in daycare or sunday school. I haven't left them with a babysitter since last November, because I don't know anyone and I have no one I trust. Tom is mad about that because he wants to go out with just me and enjoy some time alone.


this weekend was bright and sunny and really nice. I hope this next weekend is the same. Have a great day everyone.



 
School
04.04.05 (11:16 pm)   [edit]

Well, as I said in my quiz I'm going back to school to become an RN I hope. I'm really scared about getting school all paid for and having money to put my girls in daycare since I do want to be a full time student. I'm really stressed out and scared. I'm going to take my assesment test tomorrow and then going to go talk to the Medical/ Health division. I have no idea what I'm doing, but hopefully it will work out. I have to file my FAFSA for the 2004-2005 and the 2005-2006 school years since I need to take a few courses this summer. If you have any good ideas about some good grants or scholarships let me know. Good night.



 
Quiz
04.04.05 (11:04 pm)   [edit]

What is your name? depends on who you talk to                                


Are you named after anyone? after a girl in a book my mom read when she was pregnant.                                                                              


What's your screen name? blonde_n_blue83                                       


Would you name a child of yours after you? I did, my youngest daughter has my middle name, Alva                                                                


If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be? Colby                                                                                              


If you could switch names with a friend who would it be? I wouldn't.


Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly? Yes


Would you drop your last name if you became famous? No.

Basics


Your gender: Female


Straight/Gay/Bi: Straight


Single? Nope, married.


If not, do you want to be? No.


Birthdate: April 1, 1983


Your age?: 22


Age you act: sometimes older than I should 


Age you wish you were: 38, so I can see how my girls turn out:) 


Your height: 5’5"


Eye color: blue                                                                              


Happy with it? yep.


Hair color: can't decide, right now brownish-blonde                         


Happy with it? yep for now:)


Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: Righty


Your living arrangement: Military housing


Your family: my siblings, a little depressed, husband and kids...wonderful


Have any pets? Yes. Two cats and a pomeranian


Whats your job? don't have one yet                                        


Piercings? Just the ears


Tattoos? yes, lower back design 


Obsessions? some reality tv, shoes, make-up, and my kids


Addictions? occasional smoker


Do you speak another language? took french in high school and have no i


dea how I passed                                                                      


Have a favorite quote? "Everything happens for a reason." and "Live and let Live."                                                                                          


Do you have a webpage? I guess, if this is considered a webpage 


Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it


Do you live in the moment? I try to


Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? Yes.


Do you have any secrets? Too many than I should


Do you hate yourself? At the moment no 


Do you like your handwriting? Yes.


Do you have any bad habits? smoking sometimes                                   


What is the compliment you get from most people? "You are such a great mom."


If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? Slut To Mom, sadly thats what I think                                                               


What's your biggest fear? my childrening dying


Can you sing? alone,yes  around people, no 


Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? yes i have 


Are you a loner? I have to say no, but I don't go up to strangers and start a conversation.


What are your #1 priorities in life? God, my children, my husband, my family                                                                                           


If you were another person, would you be friends with you? If I took the time to really get to know who I was definitly                                    


Are you a daredevil? absolutly not.


Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? Yes, i was always made fun of a school for my teeth and i'm scared of humiliating myself


Are you passive or aggressive? At first passive,then aggressive, then passive again                                                                               


Do you have a journal? only my blog


What is your greatest strength and weakness? organized, then weakness is too organized                                                                                


If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? stomache and teeth                                                                                     


Do you think you are emotionally strong? Yes.


Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? i regret being a horrible person in high school, i use to regret not going to college, but I'm fulfilling my dream now.                                                                             


Do you think life has been good so far? since getting pregnant at 17, I would change anything so far                                                      


What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? Life is too short to hold a grudge                                                                        


What do you like the most about your body? my lips, everyone says they want them.


And least? my teeth, but even though they aren't strait on top, I've never had a cavitiy and they are healthy and white


Do you think you are good looking? To be honest, I don't think I look too bad


Are you confident? yes


What is the fictional character you are most like? I think just about every princess from disney or is it that I wanted to be a princess from disney;)


Are you perceived wrongly? Sadly just from small minded people


Do You...


Smoke? sometimes                                                                        


Do drugs? No.


Read the newspaper? Sunday                                                       


Pray? All the time.


Go to church? no but I should                                                       


Talk to strangers who IM you? only if they don't talk dirty.


Sleep with stuffed animals? no


Take walks in the rain? Living near Seattle, YES.


Talk to people even though you hate them? Yes.


Drive? Yes.


Like to drive fast? No, I got kids.

Would or Have You Ever?


Liked your voice? yes                                                                  


Hurt yourself? Yes.


Been out of the country? Not .


Eaten something that made other people sick? Clam Chowder and Smoked


Oysters


Been in love? Yes.


Done drugs? No.


Gone skinny dipping? No.


Had a medical emergency? yes.


Had surgery? thankfully no 


Ran away from home? tried, but got bored at 4 years old.


Played strip poker? None of your business


Gotten beaten up? sadly yes.


Beaten someone up? only playfully.


Been picked on? YES YES YES.


Been on stage? Yes.


Slept outdoors? Yes.


Thought about suicide? yes                                                          


Pulled an all nighter? Yes.


If yes, what is your record?24 hours


Gone one day without food? no.


Talked on the phone all night? not all night, but longest was four hours.


Slept all day? Yes.


Killed someone? no


Made out with a stranger? No.


Had sex with a stranger? No.


Thought you're going crazy? no.


Been betrayed? Yes.


Had a dream that came true? Yes…all the time


Broken the law? Yes.


Met a famous person? yes, leadsinger of Fuel and Sevendust, does the President count?.


Have you ever killed an animal by accident? Yes, I can't help it if squirals are sudicidal in Texas!                                                                   


On purpose? Just bugs


Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? Yes, only because I thought she was in danger


Stolen anything? Not really


Been on radio/tv? Yes.


Been in a mosh-pit? yes


Had a nervous breakdown? yes


Bungee jumped? No.


Had a dream that kept coming back? Yes.

Beliefs


Belive in life on other planets? not sure 


Miracles? Yes.


Astrology? no


Magic? Yes.


God? Yes.


Satan? Yes.


Santa? yes


Ghosts? Yes.


Luck? Yes.


Love at first sight? yes


Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)? no.


Witches? Yes.


Easter bunny? of course


Believe its possible to remain faithful forever? Yes.


Believe there’s a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? yes                     


Do you wish on stars? yes shooting stars                                             


Deep Theological Questions


Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? yes


Do you think God has a gender? no


Do you believe in organized religion? Yes…but that doesn’t mean I follow it.


Where do you think we go when we die? depends, Heaven or Hell


Friends


Do you have any gay/lesbian friends? My sister is a lesbian, but likes to be called gay                                                                                 


Who is your best friend? Faye


Who's the one person that knows most about you? My mom


What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you? "When you have an in-grown toe nail, cut it at an angle and it will heal better." The only thing my mom's ex-husband said to me besides calling me "Chicken shit"                                                                                         


Your favorite inside joke? could tell you because you wouldn't get it:)


Thing you're picked on most about? my weight


Who's your longest known friend? Online? Krystal and Ashli from Jr High, in real life…Faye


Newest? people in Washington are mean so none


Friends you miss being close to the most? Closeness in destince is Faye, in relationship our old friends Jon and Katy                                           


Last person you talked to online? by email, Ashli                               


Who do you talk to most online? my mom or ashli                              


Who are you on the phone with most? my husband                              


Who do you trust most? thats a toss up, my mom, husband, and faye


Who listens to your problems? my mom or anyone who will listen:)


Who do you fight most with? my husband over our kids


Do you always feel understood? No.


Do you trust others easily? No


Who's house were you last at? can't remember


Do your friends know you? yes


Friend that lives farthest away: Krystal

Who Was the Last Person...


That haunted you? a ghost, a small boy who use to live in the basement of my old house                                                                              


You wanted to kill? my mom's ex-husband


That you laughed at? My husband


That laughed at you? My husband


That turned you on? My husband


You went shopping with? my girls 


That broke your heart? my dad                                                        


To disappoint you? same


To ask you out? a neighbor across the street


To make you cry? my dad 


To brighten up your day? Faye                                                      


That you thought about? My husband


You saw a movie with? my daughter Shelby


You talked to on the phone? my mom


You talked to through IM? a old neighbor Michelle                              


You saw? husband


You lost? my dad

Right This Moment...


Are you going out? No.


Will it be with your significant other? If I was, it would be, but I’m not


Or some random person? …..


What are you wearing right now? little blue night gown and robe        


What are you worried about right now? Getting school and daycare paid for


What book are you reading? Wicked by Gregory Maguire, which is also a play on Broadway now


What's on your mousepad? Bald egale and American flag


Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: Stressed, Worried, Anxious, Scared, and Excited                                                                      


Are you bored? nah                                                                        


Are you tired? Yes


Are you talking to anyone online? No


Are you talking to anyone on the phone? No…


Are you lonely or content? at the moment content


Are you listening to music? No.



 
Thursday
03.31.05 (7:43 am)   [edit]

It has been one crazy week! Tuesday I had a job interview that went really well and then I had to go en-roll my kids in daycare here on post. Well apparently they are each missing three shots that I know they've recieved, but they have no record of. Yesturday was finally a great sunny day. I've decided to en-roll Shelby in a Ballet, Tap, Jazz combo class here on post. Its 45 mins long, once a week, $30 a month. We bought her black leotard, pink tights, pink ballet shoes, and black tap shoes. She is the cutest thing I've ever seen. True she is living a un fulfilled dream of mine of being in dance, but she is so excited about it she can't wait to get shots so she can go. Tom thinks its ok, but he's a dad so.


Today we have to pick up a physical form, get shots, go to the dr., and then register her in the class. Yesturday when I called they said there was only three slots left so I hope I get there in time.


Tomorrow is my birthday and I'm turning 22. I'm not doing anything because Tom might have staff duty. Not a big deal. Got to go.



 
Easter Sunday
03.27.05 (8:56 am)   [edit]

Happy Easter everyone. Of course today is a rainy grey day, but at least we already did our easter egg hunt on friday. The girls really liked their easter baskets, except Shelby thought it was from Santa. Funny. We are having a dinner including Cornish Game Hens, Chicken Stuffing, Spinache Cassarole, Steamed Carrots, Potatoe Rolls, and a German Chocolate Bunny Cake. I hope it all comes out well.


Besides that its been a boring week. My birthday is next Friday and I'll turn 22. We'll probably not do anything special since we're kinda low on cash. Besides, Tom has already bought me a 2005 Dodge and a Pomeranian, so I can't complain:) But since my birthday is April 1st he says watch out for tricks all day. I might have a few up my sleeve. If you have any suggestions for some pranks let me know.


Have a great day everyone:)



 
Saturday
03.19.05 (8:07 am)   [edit]

Well I didn't get that job yesturday. Oh well. I got more bad news when I found out that my hubby will probably get deployed to Iraq in November. I thought I would stay here, but I have no ties or friends so I have to figure out how to move home since the army won't help. When my husband comes back my kids will be 5 and 3. Thats so weird. We would have to sell our 04 Saturn because I can only drive one car. It would also help with money and insurance.


We're having a B-B-Q today and invited one of Tom's old sergant. I have met the family but I'm sure they're nice. Gotta run.



 
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
03.17.05 (8:37 am)   [edit]

Hope everyone is wearing green. I have an interview tomorrow that I hope goes well. I was real nasty yesturday with it only being in the 40's. I had the house bombed because poor Roxie has fleas. I've been trying to get red of fleas for awhile now. I had to have two cats two kids and a puppy in my van for three hours yesturday. It wasn't to bad until my youngest cat got car sick and throw-up twice. I felt so bad for him, but once we got home they all were fine.


I'm making corn beef and cabbage for dinner with potatoe rolls. Should be good. Have a great day everyone.


 



 
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
03.17.05 (8:23 am)   [edit]
Hope you're wearing green. I'm making a traditional corn beef and cabbage dinner with potatoe rolls from scratch for dinner. We've never had or atleast don't remember and it sounded good.

 
Friday
03.11.05 (8:44 am)   [edit]
Tom had to work Staff Duty all night so now he will sleep all day. That really sucks. The girls and I made cupcakes last and it was fun. Roxie is doing good with house training. She slept with me last night since Tom was gone. I'm taking her to the vet today so she can get a check-up and then I'm going to go en-roll her in puppy classes for 8 weeks. Its suppose to be in the 70's today which is going to be so nice. I think I'll take the girls and go walk around the mall and then the park. Hope its good weather where you are:)

 
Febuary
03.09.05 (7:16 am)   [edit]

Weel, we finally made it back from our trip. My father died Febuary 26, 2005. I was able to see him twice before he died. My brothers and my sister are taking it very hard. There was a memorial service and then he was cremated. My siblings were very upset about that, but it was done because of cost reasons. We're all glad he's gone because he's not suffering anymore.


Tom bought me a micro Pomeranian to make me feel better and as a birthday gift. She's the cutest thing I've ever seen. She's 8wks and weights less than 3lbs. She loves baby carrots and is so sweet. We named her Roxanna, but Roxy for short. I've had her for only three days and she has learned to sit, shake, dance, and now we're working on roll over. Its fun. She herds the cats around and they are starting to get use to her.


My youngest daughter has a dr. appointment today so I guess I better get ready. Everyone have a great day.



 
Texas
02.08.05 (7:22 am)   [edit]
Well, we're going out of town for awhile. Tom is able to come with us because of the Red Cross message. I think we're leaving tomorrow because Tom is already on leave and we don't want to waste any days. I so happy he's coming, because yesturday he was just going to stay here and I had to drive with the girls by myself. It takes a lot of stress off of me. I think the only snow we'll run into is in Flagstaff, AZ!! Can you believe that?! Anyway, I'll try to post while I'm in Texas. Wish me luck.

 
Locked Car Keys
02.03.05 (7:25 am)   [edit]

Well my morning started of not so well. At 6:45am my husband woke me up to say he locked our new van with the keys inside and running!! Thank God I just put roadside assistance on my insurance so it was free to get a locksmith out to my house. But get this, the guys who was suppose to come lock HIMSELF out of his house with his tools inside. Can you believe that? So after my car had been running for an hour and fourty five minutes he came and opened it in less than five minutes! What a crazy morning. Also, this was the first time my husband has taken the van! Figures. Atleast the van was warmed up for him.


Besides that, we have been putting up a fence in our backyard since Saturday and I finally finished it yesturday at 10pm. I feel very proud of myself. The weather has been beautiful for the past few days so its been nice to be outside with no rain.


The cats got fixed and seem fine. The girls and I had to travel to the capital today for some car stuff. It was a pretty drive and the girls had the DVD player so they were cool. Tom and I have been talking about him volunteering to go back to Korea so he doesn't have to go to Iraq. That way I can have the army move my stuff back to Texas and I could buy a house. Then when he gets back we can rent out the house and move to Fort Sill, Oklahoma. He's looking into it and we think its a good idea. We've been together for almost two years strait with no deployments or field problems. So its been nice. Atleast I know in Korea he can call me and he can fly home six months after he leaves. He will probably re-enlist which is fine. A job is better than no job.


I guess I should get dress. Have a great day. :)



 
My VAN!!!!
01.31.05 (4:46 pm)   [edit]
I finally got a minivan!!! Tom bought me a Light Blue 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan fully loaded yesturday! I am so happy. Also the monthly payments are under $300! I am so excited. I love him so much. Its such a smooth ride and I can't wait to go on a road trip in it. The girls love it too. Well, I got to run.

 
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